Tuesday was a good day. Was that just yesterday? Wow. Time flies. Or maybe it doesn’t. I’m confused. Whichever way it works that it seems like it was a lot longer ago than one day! Anyway, James said we were all loading up and going to town, so that’s what we did. I’m sure you all remember the tragedy of August 31st, right? You know, the Great Purse Nabbing of ’06. ~sigh~ I’d shopped a whole year for a purse, finally found one that I fell in love with (is this idolatry???), spent $16 on it ($18.37 with tax) which is twice as much as I’ve ever spent on a purse in my whole life, enjoyed it thoroughly for a whole two weeks, and then *WHAM-O* it gets nabbed. At the General Assembly, of all places!!! It was the janitor, I’m sure. Either him or Connie Werkheiser. She’s the last person I was with when I still had the purse. Hhmmm… I wonder. ;-) James was greatly concerned about the threat of identity theft. I told him not to worry. I saw the janitor. I don’t mean to be a stereotypical type of person, but this was a short, bony black man with 6 or 8 teeth, total. He just wasn’t the identity theft kind of guy, you know? He was the nab-a-lady’s-purse-hawk-the-digital-camera-pocket-the-cash-and-toss-the-purse-in-the-dumpster-‘cuz-hey-I’m-a-janitor-and-it’s-handy kind of guy. And even if it was Sister Connie, I don't think she'd go so far as to steal my identity. Do you??? Am I off the subject? I’m off the subject. Anyway, James doesn’t have a history of being very understanding of brainless people who periodically (even regularly) do absentminded or even just plain stupid things. (Like leaving a purse with $60 cash, $50 clip-on sunglasses, a digital camera, etc. at Memorial Auditorium when you leave for the night. He just doesn’t get it when you do things like that, you know. He’s had a total maybe 4 brain lapses his entire life. Freak.) Anyway, after failing to find the purse that night I went to bed in total agony. To my great surprise, I woke up alive the next morning and still married! (To his credit, I must admit that James has become more and more patient with me and my "oopsie’s" over the years and he handled this particular event remarkably well. I stood astonished and amazed!) ANYWAY, although he was kind through this ordeal, I’ve been a little leery of asking him to buy me another purse. I mean, the one I had was only two weeks old, you know? But my new driver’s license came in the mail a few days ago (I had to get a new one because, of course, my old one was in the purse that squatty little janitor snatched) and…what…was I to…do with it? So he actually brought the subject up. “We’re going to buy you a new purse today so you'll have someplace to put that driver's license.” “Okay,” I said. (On the inside I was saying, “Wa-Hooooooo!!! It’s about time!!! This is GREAT!”)
We went to Penney’s, where I had found that perfect purse before. I knew, after having searched for a whole year, that there was nothing out there that I was going to like as well as the purse we already bought once (!), so we headed right back to square one. We got there and I found the purse… kind of. The red…just wasn’t right. In fact, it was just downright wrong!!! They had changed the red of the leather from that fabulous dark red color (still quite red, not burgundy) to a much brighter, almost orangy-red kind of color! OH NO!!! What do I do?!?!? They had the same purse in black or brown, but for goodness’ sake, who wants to pay $18 for a purse that looks like every other purse in the world?! That’s another thing—the purses were now $2 more than they were a month and a half ago! That shouldn’t even be legal!!! Anyway, you’ll never believe this, but we left the mall in Odessa and drove over to Midland to look at the Penney’s over there! This is sounding more and more like idolatry, isn’t it?! I tried and tried, but I just couldn’t make myself spend $18 (plus tax) on a purse that I wasn’t going to be happy with anyway, you know?! That’s just wrong!!! Well, it turned out to be a great decision. They had ONE purse remaining that was the right color and it was the original $16 instead of $18! So what we spent in gas driving over there we saved on the purse—and got the right one! ~long, satisfied sigh~ My only problem now is that I’m scared to death to take the thing out of the house. There are janitors almost everywhere you go, you know! And I’ve still got all of that Smith blood coursing through my veins, enhancing the possibility of another slip-up enormously. You’ll never know the extra stress we have trying to consciously think of things that just come naturally to most of the rest of you. It’s a cross our family has been called to bear for generations and I’m already seeing signs of it being passed on to the next crop of kids. (I have one child who strolls into the living room with no pants on and isn’t aware that he forgot to don that item of clothing until you point it out to him. Even then, he’ll start to argue with you. “Joe, you need to put some pants on.” “I did put my pa-…,” glancing down at his bare, white legs, “—oh. ~giggle~giggle~ I’ll be right back!”) ANYWAY… This should have been separated into at least two posts, hu? I’ll do better next time. ;-)
We went to Penney’s, where I had found that perfect purse before. I knew, after having searched for a whole year, that there was nothing out there that I was going to like as well as the purse we already bought once (!), so we headed right back to square one. We got there and I found the purse… kind of. The red…just wasn’t right. In fact, it was just downright wrong!!! They had changed the red of the leather from that fabulous dark red color (still quite red, not burgundy) to a much brighter, almost orangy-red kind of color! OH NO!!! What do I do?!?!? They had the same purse in black or brown, but for goodness’ sake, who wants to pay $18 for a purse that looks like every other purse in the world?! That’s another thing—the purses were now $2 more than they were a month and a half ago! That shouldn’t even be legal!!! Anyway, you’ll never believe this, but we left the mall in Odessa and drove over to Midland to look at the Penney’s over there! This is sounding more and more like idolatry, isn’t it?! I tried and tried, but I just couldn’t make myself spend $18 (plus tax) on a purse that I wasn’t going to be happy with anyway, you know?! That’s just wrong!!! Well, it turned out to be a great decision. They had ONE purse remaining that was the right color and it was the original $16 instead of $18! So what we spent in gas driving over there we saved on the purse—and got the right one! ~long, satisfied sigh~ My only problem now is that I’m scared to death to take the thing out of the house. There are janitors almost everywhere you go, you know! And I’ve still got all of that Smith blood coursing through my veins, enhancing the possibility of another slip-up enormously. You’ll never know the extra stress we have trying to consciously think of things that just come naturally to most of the rest of you. It’s a cross our family has been called to bear for generations and I’m already seeing signs of it being passed on to the next crop of kids. (I have one child who strolls into the living room with no pants on and isn’t aware that he forgot to don that item of clothing until you point it out to him. Even then, he’ll start to argue with you. “Joe, you need to put some pants on.” “I did put my pa-…,” glancing down at his bare, white legs, “—oh. ~giggle~giggle~ I’ll be right back!”) ANYWAY… This should have been separated into at least two posts, hu? I’ll do better next time. ;-)
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